Jeff Zuckerman

True confession: I was a terrible student.

When the teacher handed back the term papers, I was the student who peeked nervously at the grade, accepted it with a broken heart, and ignored the hours of well-meaning advice, corrections, compliments, and rage in the margins.

Why not? Who cared if anything I wrote made sense or was interesting? All I ever cared about was the grade.

So here’s the tip of the month: Don’t be like me. Instead, assume you’re writing for someone who actually cares what you have to say. A few tricks can help you accomplish that lofty goal.

• A well-organized and developed essay helps.
• So do good grammar, clarity, and substance.
• Attention to detail does wonders.
• And above all, write concisely.

Which would you rather read: a 61-word sentence that goes on and on, or 24 words that pretty much say the same thing with a lot less fluff?

Examine these two paragraphs. Which one makes you want to keep reading?

1. There is certainly no doubt that while it is quite true that there is an important and critical lack of availability of antiviral drugs if in fact there is a flu pandemic occurrence in the United States, it is not an issue that has not gone unnoticed amongst those who are in leadership positions in the federal government in Washington, DC.
   
   
2. Despite a shortage of antiviral drugs, leaders in the federal government have yet to adequately address how to respond to a flu pandemic.

If you asked me, that first 61-word sentence can be as deadly as the bird flu, at least in terms of readability.

In his book, Style: The Basics of Clarity and Grace (Longman, 2003), Joseph Williams offers five principles of concision:

1. Delete words that mean little or nothing.
2. Delete words that repeat the meaning of other words.
3. Delete words implied by other words.
4. Replace a phrase with a word.
5. Change negatives to affirmatives. (p. 80)

Consider my Example 1. Quite often the word quite doesn’t mean quite anything. Delete it. How different are the words important and critical? Get rid of one (or both). If it’s the government in Washington, D.C., then it’s the federal government. Delete one or the other. Lack of availability here means shortage. Cut the clutter. Finally, I have no idea what not an issue that has not gone unnoticed means. Let’s see, that’s three negatives in one phrase. I guess that adds up to a negative. That’s why Williams advises you to write in the affirmative. 

• Now you may be thinking, “But my instructor said it has to be 10 pages long! If I cut out all my baloney, I’ll end up with 3 pages!”
  
  Well, I’ve been at Walden more than 9 years. And I’ve never heard a faculty member say he or she would rather read 10 pages of fluff than 8 or 9 pages of solid stuff.

• Would you want to read it? And after all, unlike me, you actually care if someone is reading your stuff. Right?

Questions? Contact the Writing Center at http://www.waldenu.edu/c/Students/CurrentStudents_562.htm.